Hogwarts' Unkown
by Sakura's Face
Summary: With a culture of heavy drinking, smoking and other things considered not to be model behaviour, how will this group of students fare, as well as the others in the school. Rated T for language, mature themes, and over-flowing awesomeness. Very very very AU.
1. Chapter 1

Hogwarts' Unknown

AN: **This will mostly be comprised of OC's. In fact, I think all of it will? Well, the main characters anyway. There may be mention of other characters, and a rather sizeable alteration to canon plot. The two main characters, are characters from a Facebook RP so that should explain the wackyness of it all ^.^**

**Rated T with possible M scenes – warning will be given – for language, drunken teens doing stupid things and the sheer volume of awesomeness being too high for young 'uns. Don't blame me for having an over active imagination. **

**DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter, Hogwarts, and all Canon Characters are not mine. They belong to our lovely queen, Jo Rowling. The plot, and some characters – save for Miles - are however mine and would appreciate you not stealing. Heck, steal the plot if you want, and even better – credit me ;) - but the characters are mine, or I have permission directly from the owner and creator to use them. Her name on here's DatMentkowski. Maybe. She herself can't remember but she's an amazing friend from the ACTUAL WORLD not the internet.**

**Background: After Harry and Ron are killed in a plane crash caused by muggle terrorists, Harry wanted Ron and Mr. Weasley to finally get to experience flying without magic, and a mourning Hermione is found by none other than a very changed Draco Malfoy. Now Hermione Granger-Malfoy, Draco Malfoy and their twenty or so kids live together in Malfoy Manor. Most of her kids are alright, hard-working and got sorted into Gryffindor. Except for one. **

**PS – A lot of people who 'died' didn't die. Namely professors and the such. It makes it easier than thinking up all new names and personalities. **

**PPS - Miles is a she. It's not a typo. You'll get her full name later.**

**PPS – Forgive me for the excessive AN? Hey, I guess this isn't helping much, my apologising for it. I'm a rambler but whatever.**

"Miles!" A tall, dark haired girl came bobbing down the stairs from the Ravenclaw dormitories and into the main area. "Miles, happy happy birthday!" The girl wrapped her two arms around the 'Miles' in question before pulling away with an evil grin on her face. "One has a special surprise for yourself on such a special day as today." She'd reverted to her given accent, slightly more upper-class than that which she often used. "C'mon," she said, grabbing miles by the wrist and marching out of the common room.

"Where are we going, Kai?" Miles asked, a little confused as the girl pulled her.

"Somewhere super-duper-uber-awesome! Would anywhere else really be fit for my one and only true friends sixteenth? That is today, right?"

"Yup, another year older and still not allowed to drink legally. You would think the world would see that I've stopped growing. I mean this is all the alcohol tolerance I'm ever gonna get!"

"Hah. That's all I can say. There's you being all short and that and here's me being able to choose my height," Kai smiled a little before laughing. "Anyway, we're here!"

"The girl's bathroom? Gee.. It's not quite what I had in mind?" Miles sounded a little disappointed as her deep blue eyes scanned the dusty floor. Myrtle's sobs echoed off of the walls as Miles and Kai took a couple of silent steps forwards, Kai's face plastered with a giant grin whilst Miles' was a little less enthusiastic.

"Not just here," Kai said, now grinning wickedly, "but _here_,"

"The Chamber of Secrets?" Sure Miles had heard of such a legendary place, but it was assume to be just that. A legend. "You managed to find the Chamber of Secrets?"

Kai bounced on her feet before bursting out, jazz hands and all. "Happy birthday Miles-eeeeeey," and giving another enthusiastic hug. "I thought we could use something for just.. Hanging out and things? Oh. And one other thing, consider a second gift," because finding an untapped chamber of your school and excavating new rooms wasn't enough.

She pulled Miles through another door, showing her the impressive set of tubes, bottles and flasks joined together awkwardly. "I got you a still? Is that what you call it? One of them things for you to whip up your finest booze in, especially vodka since you're all Russian and that. I think old Snape-y was starting to notice the smell around your cauldron and all so yeah," Kai finished by scratching the back of her head awkwardly. "I hope you like it?"

Miles was too busy stroking her hands across the cold metal of her latest toy to say anything, but the slight smirk gracing her lips was enough for Kai who punched the air in satisfaction, wooping happily and chanting something about an "unlimited supply of free booze".

"Kai, you're fucking crazy at times," Miles said, turning to face the taller of the two, "but at the same time you're the only person in the world who would do shit like this. I mean.. wow." She gazed around the whole chamber, eyes lingering on the pool of water and the shiny still. "Who else would.. Who else even could get me something like this?"

Kai smiled as her cheeks tinged a little pink, along with the tops of her ears. "Come off it, I just couldn't afford to.. Well, I couldn't be _bothered_ to go out and get you anything. You know how it is. Laziness is the worlds greatest si-" Kai was cut off mid speech by a short pale girl throwing her arms around her in a massive hug. "Oh, so you like it then?" Kai asked, laughing.

"I wanna try it out nooooooooooooooooooooow," Miles pined, before checking the time. "But classes start pretty soon," she sighed. "Better go or McGonna-dick'll be on our necks in no time. Can't miss transfiguration, even though it's my best subject and I always get full marks.." Miles continued grumbling as Kai laughed at her.

"Or we could stay here and get shit-faced. Fuck classes and whip out the juniper berries!" Kai said, laughing a little and waving her wand to conjure a couple of sofas and some glasses. "Now you, get the nectar flowing and I'll sit here and be awesome. I'm good at that you know." Kai said, kicking her feet up beside her on one of the couches.

"Hey, I can do this stuff pretty quickly," Miles called over just minutes later. "A couple of charms to mess with time here.. Some spells to speed it up there.. You get the picture. Watch it, it's strong," she passed Kai a small glass tumbler filled with a transparent liquid.

"Strong you say?" Kai sniffed at the rim of the glass before coughing a little. "It's only gonna strip the paint of my broom.. But hey, I've got a strong stomach and all," she sipped out of the glass, begging her eyes not to water as she took the glass away from her nose. Miles seemed to have no problems sipping at it though, and was quite enjoying the actual flavour.

-**Aaaaaand scene. Hope you like it! Here you met Miles and Kai, my two lovely main girlies. I have two things to put here. 1: Please review honestly, and flame me all ya like for underage drinking. 2: Comment on what you think a better name for my male main character would be? Wesley – Wes, Daniel – Dan, James – no nickname that makes sense or Alexander – Alex. I'd be tempted to make an Alexander a transvestite though. **

**Maybe I had three things.. I don't have a beta and I'm not interested in taking a beta offered on the site. If anyone particularly enjoys the story and wants to beta for me, I'd be very grateful, but I'm not going searching for one. -**

**Love and thanks for reading, Faith- xo**


	2. Chapter 2

"Hello Professor," a thick Scottish accent broke the silence of the History of Magic classroom. The pupils hadn't heard anything that lesson, other than being shouted at for not getting high enough test scores and then the scratching of quills off of parchment as they copied note after note from the heavy textbooks which had been handed out.

"Would you mind if I were to borrow Miss Malfoy and Miss Shan at this moment? I wont be too long with them."

Miles and Kai cursed under their breath simultaneously as they followed Professor McGonagall from the classroom and to her office. It was a long walk in silence as the pair exchanged helpless looks at each other and wished they could read minds.

"Sit girls," McGonagall said as she closed the heavy wooden door behind them. There were two seats, identical to each other, on one side of the desk and just one on the other side.

"Would you mind terribly telling me where you were this morning, instead of sitting in my transfiguration class, as well as supplying a suitable answer to the stench coming of the pair of you?" Kai winced as Miles, still a little intoxicated began to explain it.

"It's my birthday you see, Professy. We was just having a little.. Excitement. More so than going over stuff I already knows abouts. You get it, right Mcgonadi-gall," she managed to correct herself just in time. "I already knows how to change stuff into other stuff. It's just Kai who's crap at tha-"

"That's quite enough, Miss Malfoy."

"Don't call me that. I'm at least a Parms-Malf-"

"You would do well to speak only when it is requested of you, Miss Mylinski Kata Parms Malfoy. I will refer to you by your full name if you so wish it, but it will only make your punishment more severe if you do not learn to keep a hold of your tongue."

Being partially Scottish, Kai was well aware of exactly how angry McGonagall was. She's heard a similar tone from her aunt many times, and as such kept her mouth totally shut until McGonagall turned to her. "And you, Miss Kailah-Marie Shan. I expected more of yourself as well as Miss Malfoy," Miles just glared this time instead of correcting the professor. "I presume it was your idea to attend transfiguration? You are aware you have barely been scraping passing grades in my subject, yes? It's not the usual for Ravenclaws you know, and you are Ravenclaws. Perhaps in the Slytherin mindset as of current, you are still Ravenclaws at heart.

"What's so bad about Slytherins, Prof?" Miles interjected, a slight pink tinge of anger to her ears and cheeks. "The only man I've ever been able to call a father, actually the only man I've ever been able to call my dad, was a Slytherin. I'm proud to be like him, sure beats being like you.." she muttered something less than pleasant under her breath, Kai smirking a little as she recognised the foul-mouthedness of her friend, be it in Russian or otherwise.

"Miss Kata Parms Malfoy, I have already advised you to hold your tongue. Anyway, you shall be receiving an equal punishment as I do not have even the slightest of doubts that Miss Shan had nothing to do with this. I need only a little help, which shall be provided tonight at six-thirty sharp by yourselves. Miss Malfoy, you shall be assisting me to grade papers whilst Miss Shan spend the two hours I need practising her magic. There will be further detentions though, from other teachers. I expect nothing short of fifteen hours to be needed, each, for what you have done. Consuming alcohol on school premises, skipping classes, and I can't prove any smoking has been done, but Miss Shan, you smell faintly of nicotine."

"You just had to go on Miles, didn't you. She told you to shut it and we might've gotten off a bit lighter if you had. But you had to keep up with the badgeri-"

"I ain't no Hufflepuff," Miles interjected before allowing Kai to continue.

"Hah. Real funny guy. You had to keep up with the complaining and that. You know what I mean," the two sank into one of the plush couches in the Ravenclaw common room. "We could have gotten off with just tonight I think.. Maybe. She seemed pretty angry,"

"Blame me then. As always. It's never Kai's fault, she's too perfect. It's gotta be the orphaned problem child who's not a Gryffindor like the rest of her family,"

"Well if I didn't blame you, Miles, who would I blame?" Kai said cracking a smile as Miles laughed a bit. Nothing as stupid and small as this would ever split two as close as them apart.

Six o'clock came and went just as fast as the rest of the day had, since the two were sent to the common room instead of class. Apparently it's dangerous to practice magic whilst intoxicated, or so McGonagall had told them. At six fifteen the two girls made their way from the common room, haven spoken to no one other than each other. The other Ravenclaws didn't quite have the same mind as Miles and Kai did.

"McGona- Professor!" Miles chapped at the door loudly, waiting for the witch to call them in.

"Girls, come in please," she said, opening the door with a flick of her wand. The two walked in, or rather trudged in as if it was a funeral instead of detention. "I expect I don't have to go over what exactly the pair of you are here for? Miss Malfoy, your stack of papers are here," she gestured to a small table beside her own desk, "and Miss Shan, I have prepared a selection of basic items for you to transfigure, or rather attempt to."

Kai grumbled, before taking her wand from her sock and tapping it off of the wooden table twice. She then began flicking it randomly at objects, willing them to change from one things into any other thing that they could. She smirked a little as a button changed into a stone, and a bobby-pin twitched a little and turned lighter. How could anyone say she wasn't any good at transfiguration?

Miles sat beside McGonagall, who was also grading papers, doing more synchronised quill and foot tapping than actual work. Tiny dots of splattered ink covered her pale hand as she stopped tapping and made a few minor corrections on a piece of parchment. All she could truthfully think about the work in front of her that, not only was the majority of it completely wrong, it was written in the tiniest, cutest letters ever.

Eight o'clock came and passed, but it wasn't fifteen minutes after then that McGonagall told them to leave, having done enough work, apparently. Miles just shrugged, and left, not wanting to argue that she'd only actually graded six papers where McGonagall had done well over thirty, and Kai was just happy to tuck her wand away again and leave the room. If it had been defence against the dark arts, she would have completed all of the assigned tasks in just minutes instead of trying and retrying for nearly two hours.

"You've gotta help me with that stuff Miles, I just don't get it," she groaned as the made their way back to the common room.

"It's easy, just tap and think and tap and think. You're just thick Kai," Miles shrugged hopping up the last three steps in one jump.

"Hm.. The Thick Ravenclaw.. That would make an interesting book," Kai snorted in retort. "We all have subjects that we don't get you know,"

"Well yeah, but for someone like you, Miss Pure-blooded Witch, it should be mug-" Miles was cut off mid sentence by what sounded like a suit of armour collapsing to the ground. "PEEVES!" She yelled, having gotten a sizeable fright from it. The poltergeist popped into existence behind them, smiling wickedly as always.

"Wasn't me, my little Eagles. I would have destroyed that one there," he said pointing to the one right next to them, "but you might want to run through and find out what it was. There could be someone in trouble," he cackled loudly as he popped off again to annoy someone else.

**Tada! Welcome to chapter two! This one was very tame as far as things go, but hey – gotta have some like this! So, next chapter we find out who made the mysterious collapsing suit of armour! Dun, dun, dun! Maybe not though, muahaha! **


End file.
